Faith..My miracle baby!!!
I was on cloud nine, my heart
dancing in joy, my mind always dreaming about how my life will be filled with merry
once my baby becomes part of it, I use to check my tummy every morning in the
mirror hoping for the baby bump to show, I would imagine her small fingers,
little toes and cute smile all day. Throughout the day and night I would only
think about her, she became the center of my world. I was counting days,
waiting anxiously to hold her in my hands and not just feel her in my womb.
Every time my husband and I went for my regular check-ups and test, we would
come out of the clinic with broad smile on our face like every other to-be
parents.
However, something went terribly
wrong during fifth month of my pregnancy and thereafter every visit to the
clinic was painful. On our way to the clinic both of us kept quiet in the car,
trying hard to hide our tears and fears and praying that the visit will bear us
some good news this time around. Every time we came out of the clinic, our
fears only magnified and the tears would roll down our cheeks, both of us
making no attempts to hide it this time. My BP was shooting up, I was having sleepless
nights, my health was failing with every passing day and the baby inside me was
suffering immensely.
The baby was not responding as
she should have, she was not growing the way doctors expected her to, sometimes
there would be no moments from her for days at stretch, after innumerable tests
the doctors declared that I was going to have a tough pregnancy and there were
chances that my dreams will come shattering if things didn’t improve soon. One
day the doctors announced that my body and the baby were not getting any better
with the treatment and they may have to get the baby out if the treatment
fails. On the other hand, even if the treatment shows any improvement than we
can’t rule out the possibility of a still baby or that my baby would have a
complicated life. Though the doctors were hoping that the worst may not come
true, my heart sank completely.
On hearing this news, I detached
myself from the world, I would cry endlessly; I use to get up in the middle of
the night soaked in sweat, fear and negative thoughts were overtaking my
blissful life. My family and husband tried their best to pacify me even when
they themselves were miserable but I could just not accept the fate of my baby.
After a brief period of denial and weeping, one day as I sat in my balcony
looking at people walking on the street, something in me triggered a thought of
hope, my first positive thought after the dreadful news.
As I was looking at countess life
on the streets carrying on with their daily routine I wondered that not everyone
walking on the street may be having cheerful life, yet they are going on as
usual unlike me who is cribbing and being terrible. I got lost in my thoughts
wondering what is it that they have and I am lacking and pat came the reply
–FAITH.
When nothing works in your
favor, when the entire universe is against you, when there is not even
slightest hope of things getting better than FAITH makes its entry in your
heart. Faith is that magical thing that
helps you sail through the storm. It makes you believe in the unbelievable, it
gives you the strength to make impossible possible, it is such a strong feeling
that it can change your world and thought process in no time. During those
tiring times, I told myself to have faith in my motherly love, to have faith on
my loving baby, to have faith on my weak body, to have faith on my dishearten
heart and more importantly to have faith on my umbilical cord. I started
developing positive thoughts, I started dreaming of my life ahead with my baby,
I started believing in the love that my kid and I shared, I started living my
days in hope, believing completely that one day I will give birth to a healthy
baby who will give me plenty of happiness.
My family was surprised with this
sudden transformation in me. They too suppressed their own fears and started
having faith in my faith. During the remaining few days of my pregnancy my
faith became firm and my hopes became stronger. I realized the most amazing
things in life tend to happen right at the moment you are about to give up
hope. My days of labor finally bore sweet fruits, and I welcomed my little
healthy baby in this world through normal delivery. I couldn’t believe the
enormous power I had within me until I saw my baby crying in front of my eyes
and my doctor smiling at me and declaring the baby as miracle baby. I have named my baby FAITH – quiet unusual
but just perfect for her.
My baby hates her name and
complaints about it to me often but the day she grows up to understand the
significance of it, I am sure she will appreciate it.
“Faith is all about believing, you don’t know how it
will happen, but you know it will.”
