HEADING TOWARDS TOMORROW BUT LONGING FOR YESTERDAY!!!!
-the turn of events in our life so unfold that the CUTE baby of yore transforms into a CUNNING man of eternity....
They said as you step out of this shelter called "school", life will be roller-coaster, risk and challenges will await you, heart breaks and mistrust will accompany you, pain and grief will welcome you, decisions and responsibilities will surround you. Like most of the words that fall on deaf ears during our "growing up" days this too meant nothing but a sheer pravachan and yet another lecture. Sick of the ugly uniform, tired of the over protective teachers, pain of the lifeless textbooks and jealous of the colorful life of our seniors, nothing got into our head but the urge to get rid of this prison, to breathe the fresh air of freedom and to step into the "fascinating" world called college.
The pressure-torture-trauma of appearing for our first board exams added fuel to the fire and each passing day made us yen more. Counting months, then weeks, then days and finally hours our dream was turning into reality and here we were welcoming a new life. It felt as if the world was at our feet and we broke all the ties that made us answerable to all the people who mattered and all those who bothered.
The first two years or "JC" as we fondly call it is the time when one wants to break all the norms, violate all rules and regulations, when being aggressive is the "in" thing, when being addressed as dude/babe sounds music to our ears, when the smoke of cigarette satisfies our inner self, when a peck of vodka is all that can quench our thirst, when testosterone level is at peak and when girlfriend/boyfriend change every week or in a nutshell this is the time when we shed all the innocence and kill the child within us forever and ever.
In this world of glam n beauty, brain loses its way, heart pumps impure thoughts, kindness and trust become strangers, respect and love vanish. In order to out-smart each other we transform ourselves to someone that we never were. Series of blunders and mistakes, tons of joy n happiness dies with the end of these years and we bring in a more serious life. Constant taunts of our professors, the "do-or-die" ultimatum of our parents, endless comparisons with our siblings and our inner voice screaming "now or never" gives birth to a new person in us. The only goal of life now is to prove ourselves to the world, to shut the mouth of those who haunt us in our dreams or rather in our nightmares and to create an identity for ourselves.
As we enter the professional course things take a turn of 180 degrees, the carefree days of past have no space in this disciplined life, for the first time beauty and brain walk hand in hand, each day brings in a new challenge and ends with the guilt of all the cruel things we did, emotions take a back seat and practicality comes in fore-front, now geeks substitute glam, silver chains are shed for decent ties, mini-skirts give way to trousers, resume replace love letters, we call them our friend but they remain mere colleagues, books regain their importance, benevolence loses its essence and cruelty pours in, the soft pillow no longer gives us the peace that we once received in our mom's uneven lap, loneliness creeps in even in a crowd, our heart hunts for trust-worthy people but we betray every soul that comes our way and all this makes us realize that we have indeed grown up.
We look forward to another day but somewhere down the line crave to go back to those jovial times, the reality of life teaches us that there is no looking back and all we can do is probably live those days only in our memories. In the end, success embraces us but we lose ourselves in the bargain!!!
